well now....about me.....i like to use a lot of dots when i write.....see?...and i really don't like to talk about myself a lot....but if i DID....this is what I'd say about me..... i am one funny bitch...twisted, warped and skewed...but funny...i raise sarcasm and potty humor to an art form...nothing makes me cackle like "pull my finger". I tend to see the world from a vantage that supplies me with laughter fodder...everything is to be laughed at...from ugly babies, traffic jams, one legged ducks swimming in a circle...you get the idea. I had the opportunity to be VERY sick a few years ago ( breast cancer )...i won the war..but have my battle scars, and it has afforded me the opportunity to view life as something to be cherished, and to be made light of...LIVE if you ain't dying...or you might as well be already dead...go ahead and jump off the roof with your salt shaker of pixie dust...who knows...YOU might be the one to actually fly!!...(but i bet you don't-and therefore afford me another giggle). Chemistry is important to me...i like who i like,...i won't apologize for that...and I've found that as i age...that strange bartender has mixed me up a few incredible cocktails...i have WONDERFUL friends. and am thankful for each and every one of them....and show my appreciation for them by picking on them daily....what can i say...it's a gift. if you're incredibly lucky, you might be the newest recipient of my ruthless charm and malevolent pickery....i give it hard...and receive it well...nothing makes me laugh like a well placed barb against ME....it's only fair...and the best cuts have to hurt a little to qualify for the "OHHHHHHH YOU GOT ME" award. well...thats enough disclosure for one day...I'm out of coffee, and my cat is horribly pissed off because I'm typing ..and not seeing to his total comfort and well being...guess I'll feed the rotten bastard before he slits my throat as i sleep.... as for anything else your tiny brain requires to process the above information...just ask...i'll probably tell you...but remember,...you can't UNLEARN anything.....so carefully choose your questions young grasshopper...because the truth can make you wish you hadn't asked!

My Ideal Person the biggest turn on for me is a self assured FUNNY MAN. Someone who can laugh at themselves, laugh at (and with) me, and laugh at all the funny things going on in the world around us.
Politeness....just a little...please....etiquette...ever heard of it?....It's saying hello BEFORE saying anything dirty. Your momma taught you manners...try to use them....make her proud. I know the proper place to NOT be a lady....A GENTLEMAN IS SEXY!

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Role Playing, Food Play

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.

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