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busy Balls 1/28/2004
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading
down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first
bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times
last year." The wife turns to her husband and says,
"He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him."
They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This
bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
8 Votes
,5.33 Score
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX 1/28/2004
1. You can GET chocolate.
2. "If you love me you'll swallow that"
has real meaning with chocolate.
<br>
3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
<br>
4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
<br>
5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
<br>
6. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother. ...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
12 Votes
,5.27 Score
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Is he dead? 1/28/2004
A 911 operator received a call from a very distraught man.
<br>
"Hello? Oh my God! We are out in the woods hunting and
Bob just collapsed. I... I think he's dead!"
the man exclaimed.
<br>
"Now sir, " the operator said. "Take
a few deep breaths and try to calm down. Now the first thing
we have to do is make sure Bob is really dead. Can you do that?"
<br>
"Yes, ...
1 Comments, 36 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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The Shot slammer 1/26/2004
A guy was drinking at the bar and another guy comes up and
orders a shot and slams it down; then he orders another and
does the same thing; then another; and then another.......
Finally after 10 shots the slammer stops and pauses. The
first guy asks what caused the need to drink so much. The
slammer replied " got my first BJ to completion a little
while ago". The first guy said " Now that's ...
1 Comments, 44 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Do you know what your gal is doing???? 1/25/2004
Do you know what a womans ass hole is doing when her pussy
is having a orgasm? He is at home watching the .
0 Comments, 10 Views,
7 Votes
,4.57 Score
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Two Troublemakers 1/25/2004
A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10.
<br>
They were always getting into trouble, and their parents
knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their
sons would get the blame.
<br>
<br>
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had
been
successful in disciplining , so she asked if he
would speak with her boys. The ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
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polish 1/25/2004
there are 3 guys a american a germany and a polish. they find
a room full of tampons and bet each other who can stay in the
room the longest. the american is up first after a week he
comes out and says i cant stand the stench then it's
the germany's turn he last about a week and a half comes
out ha i got you beat american then the polish goes in after
2 week the germany and american tell ...
0 Comments, 11 Views,
2 Votes
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Deaf Sex 1/25/2004
Two deaf people got married. During the first week of marriage,
they found that they were unable to communicate in the bedroom
with the lights out, since they can't see each other
signing, or lips to lip-read.
<br>
After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings,
the wife figures out a solution. "Honey, why don't
we agree on some simple signals? For instance, ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
16 Votes
,7.10 Score
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The right age for swearing. 1/25/2004
A 5-year old and a 4-year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?" says the 5-year old, "I
think it's about time we start swearing. I think we
are old enough."
<br>
The 4-year old nods his head in approval.
<br>
The 5-year old continues. "When we go downstairs
for breakfast, I'm gonna say "hell, "
and you say "ass." OK?"
<br>
The 4-year old ...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
16 Votes
,6.95 Score
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Wendy 1/24/2004
This little guy had his girlfriends name tattooed on his
penis. When his penis got soft only the W and Y of WENDY were
visible.
One day while on vacation in Jamaica he was standing in front
of the urinal. A good size Jamaican was standing next to
him.The little guy looked over and saw a W and a Y on the Jamaicans
penis. He asked him: "is your girlsfriends name Wendy?"
No, why do you ask? ...
0 Comments, 14 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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mayonaise 1/24/2004
Q: What's the difference between mayonaise ans sperm?
A: Mayonaise does't hit the back of your throat at 50mph.
1 Comments, 12 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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love dress 1/23/2004
A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married
's
>>>house.
>>> > She rang the doorbell and walked in.
She was shocked to see her
>>> > -in-law lying on the couch,
totally naked. Soft music
>>>was
>>> > playing;the aroma of perfume filled
the room.
>>> > "What are you doing?" she
asked.
...
0 Comments, 48 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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Things not to say to a cop when you're pulled over... 1/23/2004
Back off Barney, I've got a piece.
<br>
Want to race to the station, Sparky?
<br>
I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb
Hideout!
<br>
On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.
<br>
You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy!
<br>
Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
<br>
...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
6 Votes
,5.07 Score
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one liners 1/23/2004
1. What's the difference between a drug dealer and
a ?
>>>>>>A can wash her crack
and sell it again.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>2. Why do women call it PMS?
>>>>>>Mad Cow Disease was already
taken.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>3. What is a mixed feeling?
>>>>>>When you see ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
12 Votes
,5.27 Score
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If you don't find this funny, you're already dead 1/23/2004
Here's a dilemma for you....
In all honour and dignity what would you do?
<br>
This test only has one question, but it's a very important
one, so please don't answer it without giving it some
serious thought.
It features an unlikely, completely fictional situation,
where you will have to make a decision one way or the other.
Remember that your answer needs to be honest, ...
0 Comments, 19 Views,
11 Votes
,4.85 Score
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milk bath 1/23/2004
MILK BATH
<br>
> > A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful.
She left a note
> for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the
milkman read the
note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably
meant
1.5 gallons so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
> >
> > The blonde came to the door and ...
0 Comments, 24 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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infant size 1/23/2004
Infant Size
>
>
>Betty and Bob began dating with it known to both that
neither one was
>interested in having sex until they were married.
The relationship was
>doing very well so Bob decided to propose to Betty.
She accepted.
>
>The night before the wedding Betty approached Bob
saying "Bob I feel
>there is something I must tell you before we get ...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
8 Votes
,5.80 Score
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6/49 1/23/2004
A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway,
runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top
of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags! I won the damn
lottery!"
> The husband says, "Ohmigod! No shit?! What should
I pack, beach stuff, mountain stuff ... ?" The wife
yells back, "It doesn't matter!! Just get the
fuck out!!"
0 Comments, 18 Views,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score
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poor guy 1/23/2004
The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately
to
>>take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn't bring
his swimming
>>outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed
and
>>got into the water.
>>After some delightful minutes of cool swimming,
a pair of
>>old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction.
He
>>panicked, got ...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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golfer-bee sting 1/23/2004
A woman comes running into the club house yelling, "I
JUST GOT STUNG BY A BEE!" The club pro that was there
asked her, "Where did you get stung?" The woman
answers, "Between the 1st and 2nd holes." The
pro replies, "Sounds like your stance is too wide!"
0 Comments, 6 Views,
0 Votes
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Traveling salesman 1/22/2004
Late at night, in the middle of nowhere, the traveling salesman's
car breaks down. In the distance, he sees the lights of a
farmhouse. He hikes to it and knocks on the door. The farmer
answers and the salesman explains the problem. The farmer
says, "You can stay here for the night, but you'll
have to share a room with my teenage ...." The salesman
says "I think I'm in the wrong joke."
0 Comments, 9 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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How do you circumsize a redneck? 1/22/2004
KICK HIS SISTER IN THE CHIN!!! 
0 Comments, 6 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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Blonde in an accident 1/22/2004
One day a state patrol man was driving down the road when
he saw a blonde standing beside the road waving him down.
He pulled over and asked her what was wrong. The blonde replied
she had just been in an accident, looking into the ditch
the patrolman the totaled car. He asked what happened.
The blond replied she had been looking in the mirror while
driving the down the road and when ...
0 Comments, 11 Views,
8 Votes
,4.64 Score
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phoned 1/21/2004
A guy goes down for breakfast and it is quite obvious that
his wife has the hump with him. He asks what is the matter.
She replies, “Last night you were talking in your
sleep and I want to know who Linda is!”
Thinking quickly on his feet he tells her that Linda was
'Lucky Linda' and was actually a name of a
that he bet on that day and won Ј40. She seemed quite
happy ...
0 Comments, 22 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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Marketing Buzz Words.... 1/21/2004
The buzz word in today's business world is MARKETING.
However people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing"
Well, here it is:
You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party.
You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
- That's Direct Marketing.
<br>
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome
guy. One of your friends goes up to him and ...
0 Comments, 6 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
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DRUG TEST FOR FOOTBALLERS 1/21/2004
vodaphone have just bought out a new mobile called the rio
ferdinand. its BIG BLACK AND UGLY HAS NO MEMORY AND TAKES
3MONTHS TO CHARGE F***ER
0 Comments, 8 Views,
2 Votes
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yang man 1/21/2004
There was a young man from Mauritius,
who said that last fuck was delicious,
But next time I cum,
it’ll be up your bum,
cos that scab on your cunt looks suspicious
0 Comments, 32 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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You want Irish with that? 1/21/2004
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd
just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose
is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking
with a limp.
What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight, " says
Paddy.
"That little sod, O'Conner, " says Sean,
"He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something ...
0 Comments, 44 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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pepper 1/21/2004
A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class
on a plane. The woman sneezes, then takes a tissue and gently
wipes it between her legs. The man isn't sure he saw
what she did and decides he is probably hallucinating.
A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a
tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The man is about
to go nuts. He can't believe that he's ...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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luck 1/21/2004
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving
home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving
violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So, "
says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course, "
slurs the drunk.
"Well, " says the cop, "it looks like
you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all ...
0 Comments, 14 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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