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Nope I'm a people person, no one intimidates, me but I have been told a couple of times I can be quite intimidating.. great blog hun and question..Happy Saturday.. Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on.. 
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Hii Lala. Maybe it's a matter of confidence in yourself that who you are, as you are, at any given moment, is 'enough.' Humans wish to be acceptable. What we deem acceptable, both in/of ourselves and others varies. Sometimes people do not have a 'type' as in body type but more of a personality type. Sometimes that's good, sometimes not. Sometimes, we have to be on guard because typical human behavior *not healthy behavior* will cause us to lose ourselves, at least a little, to gain acceptance. This can be dangerous on many levels as we are blinded by the need to be accepted/desired. Wit, charm, sexiness can be present in the most accomplished of asshats who will use your insecurities to manipulate you just because they can do so without any empathy whatsoever because they absolutely lack it as part of their character/brain/emotions. You are a smart woman. Who you are is 'enough' - even if you may dribble some coffee. -At least you're being who you are, as you are in that moment. You're invited to  CorPlay anytime. Kinky-ish coffee or before bed time fun in favorite chat rooms. Life is too short not to laugh!  Peace, light, love 
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- To answer the question: My 'normal' depends upon the situation. You're invited to CorPlay anytime. Kinky-ish coffee or before bed time fun in favorite chat rooms. Life is too short not to laugh! Peace, light, love
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You know me and know I'm NOT a people person. But I'm also naturally curious...kinda like a damned cat sometimes. I think if given the opportunity to meet someone that I had spent time corresponding with and liked, I'd take it, regardless of the fact that I just know I'd die of embarrassment at some point.  I'd keep reminding myself that I'd rather meet and have the memories of it, even if they're embarrassing, than to have the regret over a missed opportunity.(Mmmm....pineapple. Yum!) Pagan  Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!
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9/16/2017 11:33 am |
Lala, Rght now, I'm in my life where I say, "I've got no chance anyway." I'm not "apparently" what men, AND women want. That's not okay, but I'm used to it. I'm a simple guy, looking for happiness, fun, excitement, love, and appreciation, just like most. Maybe if I try to be like others, being selfish and such, then.... ? No! That doesn't work for me. I admit I haven't read your last question, that, as you said, drew lots of attention! It's only because I'm not here, on this site much lately (about once a week now). While this IS a place where people can know about each other, it's up to the PEOPLE to do their part! For me, I want to be here to make friends, even across the miles. I'm also here to find someone ( locally would be nice ) ! I involve myself here and blog, and such. Members near me don't seem to be interested, or..... Hmmmmm ! ? I wonder... I read somewhere that everyone has some insecurities about themselves. So if we can't change on the outside, and still be ourselves on the inside, then we should not be blaming others, for how others perceive us. My normal is similar. My shyness I have not overcome, and I'm 50 ! Also, most of those that I'm attracted to, are involved, or married to someone else, so my pursuit stops there. Thus it becomes easy, though emotionally painful for me. Again, I'm used to it. I'm a realist too. I'm an optimist as well. Someday, I will have someone in my life too P.S. Lala, some people that say they are intimidated, are often week minded people! YOU, are not that type of person! Love your friend, Michael. Being curious and asking questions is a good thing!
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I recognize that someone is not necessarily demonstrating interest in me just because they flirt. True, but how do you know for sure pretty lady? How have you overcome your nervousness and bring your shyness out of the woodwork? I was extremely shy in my youth (I'm mean seriously shy), but I think people eventually evolve at least somewhat out of it. In a group setting, or with people I don't know, I can still be quite shy. Thoughts from the Garden...
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I used to get as you described when meeting "the hot chic" but got beyond that many years, or was it eons, ago. No matter who you meet they are just as human as you and do odd things too. Maybe not the same ones but still different.  My normal? Not sure, I just tend to roll with whatever comes my way as long as it seems like a good thing.  When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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So if you DO agree to meet someone....hummmm. I got over being shy by flirting right here on the blogs. Nursemaid Position Available Apply Now Displaying my Aets, on HNW No Photos Allowed [post 3312759] My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets
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er...I've read this blog twice. What are you asking? What is my normal behaviour around gorgeous people? So I often differ with most others as to what is gorgeous. I'm usually rude and unhelpful to the social definited 'gorgeous' folk. Especially in the office where 'gorgeous' folk seem to think they can just ask me to their job and I'll accept because they are 'gorgeous'. Er, No. But for folk I think are gorgeous, then it's 'cheeky English chappy' time. A little bit oooh, a little bit aaahhh. I'm irreverent. I'm inappropriate. And I often waggle my eyebrows while saying something very dull to pretend it's really salacious.
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I'm one of those "aw, I don't stand a chance anyway" people. But mostly I'm just now insanely curious about who this sexy mofo is   
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I'm one of those "aw, I don't stand a chance anyway" people. But mostly I'm just now insanely curious about who this sexy mofo is Please set Lala straight, and tell her he's nothing special.Thoughts from the Garden...
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You actually met him at the Seattle Blogger's Bash. Please set Lala straight, and tell her he's nothing special.I most certainly will NOT say he's nothing special! (Double negative) A very sweet soul, who is a bit more reserved in person, not intimidating whatsoever.
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overcome nerves and shyness? No, I haven't, it's still there, even if I try to engage. Do i assume I have no chance? Pretty much, and pretty sure I don't intimidate, but also pretty certain, that given some of the snowflake stupidity on here, some of my opinions wouldn't go down well with the unfortunate lefty herd mentality among female folk here
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Spending years working in restaurants took away any fear I had of talking to strangers, even the ones I found attractive/interesting. But when I am attracted, I want to know more about that person, so I try to lead the conversation in a direction that will give someone the opportunity to talk about themselves. Because for me it has never been a matter of physical attractiveness, my interest is in the mind and spirit of a person, that is the thing that initially attracts me. Physical beauty is like art, it is a matter of personal taste that dictates what one finds attractive. Some of the worst meets I have had from this site involved men of two kinds, very wealthy or physically attractive. (I'm not saying that all wealthy or pretty men are assholes, not saying that all average guys are fantastic. Just that such things shouldn't be used as a standard, ya know?) And for the record, there is no such thing as a league in life, and no one is out of yours. I think you seem to be smart lady with a warm heart and a wonderful sense of humor. What's not to love about that? "Shall I tell you the secret of the true scholar? It is this: every man I meet is my master in some point, and in that I learn of him." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson  
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Who is the insanely sexy blogger? .. whisper me his name,,,so i can see if your angst is worth it
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I would genuinely be surprised at that, and not sure what would intimidate, as I can be just as likely to be found espousing gutter thoughts as more intelligent ones And I think you get the balance right, with the right amount of lightness and self-deprecation when even discussing serious human topics, of even the more sexual nature. Hard to achieve and be readable, and likeable too, as you may have witnessed by visiting numerous bloggers on here!
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one. you are a stunner goddess so stop THAT two. there is not a single man out there that shouldn't be DAMN proud to have you on his arm. tbs.....the easiest way to talk to someone is to talk about what you love. if they are at all into you, they will follow you down that path. 4 minutes max. and then ask, so, what do you love. and follow them. why, when did that start, were you like that when you were young. we all want to be seen. and not for what we look like but for who we are. You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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I try not to think, "oh well forget it, I've got no chance anyway," but it can be tempting when I am lacking confidence. But I know from experience you just can't judge how someone will respond to you unless you give them the chance. I do get tongue tied and nervous when I am face to face with someone who I don't know that well, but who really gets my instincts revved up. I think part of that is because it matters. The same way a golfer can hole a three foot put on the practice green, but might get a bit shaky if it was to win the masters. Usually I can fight it down, but I have also learned that most women like it if you admit you are nervous because you really like them. It is a kind of non threatening admission of attraction I think. But I think you need to be an older confident guy to pull that one off - I don't think I could have managed that when I was twenty, lol. Okay, anyway, alos, sorry I haven't been to see you for a bit - if I am honest I always feel a bit lost in the crowd. But here is my answer to your questions on Oldhabits' blog: You are making a very fair point. Obviously it only translates if the guy is a selfish bastard and only wants physical sex. And also if his mental reasoning goes something like "she's not going to let me fuck her unless she thinks there might be some future in it, because even if she wants sex she probably thinks she'll be being a slut if she doesn't want more than just a fuck." Unfortunately I think there are a lot of men who do think that way, although they may not admit it even to themselves! I don't mean that women deliberately train men to think this way, what I mean is that some women (only some ) do actually use the possibility of sex as a way of getting what they think they want from a man. And some men may feel the need to mislead or lie to get round this. Some young girls use the advantage of being quicker to mature, at a time when boys are struggling with puberty, to make boys feel pretty small when they try their inexperienced sexual advances. Some boys grow up and forget this. Some girls realise this wasn't a great thing to be proud of. But some continue that mind-set into their adult lives. Some men harbour the resentment and misconception all their lives too. I think this can make some men more willing to employ subterfuge in their future seduction attempts. The mere fact that they still see it as an exercise in seduction is evidence of this. Also, many mothers, (and fathers of course, ) kindly trying to prepare their sons for a world of difficult relationships, may tell them not to expect women to have the same attitude to sex as boys do. They may tell their daughters to adopt a different attitude to the one they see from boys. They may even suggest that a woman who likes sex other than in a committed relationship is in some way dirty. They may suggest to their daughters that they should be wary of men, who "only want one thing," Many men learn that people are more complicated than that, and that many of today's women are far more self possessed, and can make up their own minds what they really want. But not all men learn this. They love the idea of fucking a slut, but they can't actually love the slut for being the way she is. They would fuck their friend's sister, but would kill their friend if he fucked theirs. Crazy, but that is people for you.
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Hii Lala. Maybe it's a matter of confidence in yourself that who you are, as you are, at any given moment, is 'enough.' Humans wish to be acceptable. What we deem acceptable, both in/of ourselves and others varies. Sometimes people do not have a 'type' as in body type but more of a personality type. Sometimes that's good, sometimes not. Sometimes, we have to be on guard because typical human behavior *not healthy behavior* will cause us to lose ourselves, at least a little, to gain acceptance. This can be dangerous on many levels as we are blinded by the need to be accepted/desired. Wit, charm, sexiness can be present in the most accomplished of asshats who will use your insecurities to manipulate you just because they can do so without any empathy whatsoever because they absolutely lack it as part of their character/brain/emotions. You are a smart woman. Who you are is 'enough' - even if you may dribble some coffee. -At least you're being who you are, as you are in that moment. I just wanted to say how much I agree with this comment, and how it ties in with the second part of my own comment (which is actually an answer to a question Lala asked me on Oldhabits' blog. ) Dreamer.
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So.. I can tell that you're talking about me. LOL, I'M KIDDING!! You know, I can be a babbling fool. I used to be the typical nerdy kid and never found the self esteem necessary to even ask a girl to dance. NOW, I'm a little more relaxed and comfortable in my own skin that I can hold up my end of a conversation when necessary. But inside I'm still the babbling nerdy kid who is just wondering how much I'm letting her down with each passing moment. So, my "normal" is that fuzzy little gap between a seemingly confident person in public and being the quiet introvert who hides in the corner.
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Sooooo part of me has wondered if I don't have some of the same type of thing going on --- from both sides Of course I also know I do scare/intimidate a lot of guys as well (and that's even included the scary ones) ..... So yeah, I've basically given up having on almost every type of close human relationship (best buds, wife, etc, etc) .....which is pretty much why my profile is written in the manner it is and I'm even not spending much time here. Long story short, the more I've learned about human nature I suspect that many of those that are seen as intimidatingly desirable either end up being alone and very approachable ......or completely and utterly batshit crazy from having been used & abused by so many. Which is both rather sad while simultaneously being comically ironic in my opinion.
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ol, so ,much to discuss! (Incidentally, before anything else, I should say I didn't mean any criticism of you when I said "I feel I get lost in the crowd" and in fact you always answer every comment, and we have had some really good discussions so I certainly couldn't claim you never notice me. That's really not what I meant. In fact in some ways it was more a criticism of me, in that I do seem to have an aversion to getting into blogs with too many watchers and comments. I think it probably stems from experiences way back when I quickly realised I was really just being groomed for extra comments by a few "top" bloggers, and also because I guess I like to feel like I have found a special blog not so many people know about - that makes me feel more special I suppose. ) Anyway, moving on to your specific queries on what I wrote before: Because it matters. As far as men when they are solely seeking sex are concerned - I can't really comment because I am nearly always seeking a mental connection too, and even if I just find someone achingly red hot and nothing else, I still would be nervous I think. Maybe for some men, if they don't care then neither do their nerves, I don't know. I haven't often been hit on by women just for sex, so I can't really say I have seen a pattern in their behaviour. But on reflection, when I have been, I don't remember them being particularly different. Except maybe that they tried to act sexy, whereas women who really like me seem to tone it down a bit more. Like maybe they don't want me to think they are sluts, lol. (I quite admire slutty women really, but that's perhaps unusual and also another story, lol. ) I did recent;ly have a conversation with a younger woman in which we both admitted the chemistry between us was making us nervous, so obviously this can happen to women as well as men. One thing I have noticed is that older ( I mean nearer my own age, lol ) women who act like they may be hoping I might be their next husband (but who really don't know me yet and seem to me to be looking for just any old husband who happens to look like he's the right sort of guy ) tend to be very attentive, pay extra attention and only want to talk about me, not themselves. Lol. "Men's inability to manage their desires": I get why this kind of phrase annoys you. Forgive me - I expected you to know without me saying that I don't think men should be unable, or that it is in any way a valid excuse for acting unreasonably, or that men are creatures of instinct so it isn't their fault. All I meant is that some men do act as if it is a valid excuse, and maybe justify their behaviour to themselves on the basis that they are creatures of instinct so it isn't their fault. For all I know, maybe for some of them it is a fact that they have desires they find hard to control. They may even feel they were "born that way" the same way a gay person feels they were "born that way." But I don't consider either as an excuse for adopting unacceptable behaviour. She'll say no if I tell her the truth: I don't think we are really disagreeing that much here. A lot of men are selfish and do act like bastards when it comes to trying to get laid. Yes, it's lying and it's not good. The sad thing is that for some reason form many of them, it works often enough for them to keep doing it. Maybe there are still enough women who sub-consciously like to be lied to in this way, so that even though deep down they know it is only sex, they can pretend they are not being sluts? And of course some women act badly towards men too - it is how people are. It's just that you and I both wish they weren't. I think one of the problems is that despite honesty being a good thing an' all, quite often people get very upset if they don't like the truth you tell them. Even if it is just the truth about your own feelings - if it isn't what they wanted to hear people often get upset. I have a friend who says, "people lie to you if they feel unable to tell them the truth." I try never to lie, but I notice this effect all the same. It's much harder to tell someone the truth if you think they aren't going to respond well. If I was talking to a woman like you, I might feel able to say "how do you feel about us having sex together?" because I reckon even if the answer was no, it would be, "no, I am sorry but that's not something I want to do, thanks for asking though," as opposed to "WHAT???!!! With you????!!! Oh for heavens sake go away you creepy loser." That takes me neatly on the "Trained.": I think all this is is a bad choice of words on my part. The word trained implies some deliberate intent. But all I mean is that for many men, formative experiences before they are grown up lead them to be scared women will either put them down or try to control them, because that's what happened to them when they were young. Some grow up with a bit of self confidence and realise women are just people, but so many grow up to believe in "the battle of the sexes" and that they need to be able to manipulate women to get sex. It is partly their own lack of maturity and selfish nature, but it partly learned behaviour because of how they were treated when they were young. Love discourse with you Lala. Maybe I don't come by 'cos I know you will get me thinking, and sometimes I don't have time! Dreamer.
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well at least we're in good company in being alone .... I mean it'd really suck to be alone in being alone  (and that's not sucking in the good way )
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^5 Wishing you the best. You're invited to CorPlay anytime. Kinky-ish coffee or before bed time fun in favorite chat rooms. Life is too short not to laugh! Peace, light, love
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hotdreamer1000 - Thank you You're invited to CorPlay anytime. Kinky-ish coffee or before bed time fun in favorite chat rooms. Life is too short not to laugh! Peace, light, love
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Most of the time, I am too nervous or shy to approach a woman from the very outset. If she doesn't know of me or a little about me and bat the ball back and forth right from the get go, I am dead in the water. My experience is that when I ask that invitation to start talking about yourself and you don't respond like you work with the CIA in an overseas post, then you are not interested in me at all. It is all about attitude, approach and presentation! What is your AAP?
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